Why I love my job

I have been watching quite a few TED videos of late. I've been giving a lot of thought on my professional tasks...specifically, teaching, and how I might do that better. I also have been reading about the world and struggling to understand how to make it better, mostly through articles posted by J on venues too numerous to track down.

All of these things have coalesced to convince me of a single truth, and it is this:

Most unhappiness is derived from outside of ourselves. We are happy beings except when we succumb to the temptation to compare ourselves to others. When we are children and we are full of ourselves, we never give a thought to whether our talents and our interests are going to lead us to fame or fortune, or whether we have aspirations similar to those of our friends and colleagues. We don't care that Johnny or Jane are smarter, better looking, or can sing better than us. What we lack in talent, we make up for in enthusiasm. Think about it. When you are a kid, it isn't your ability to carry a tune. It's how loud you sing. It is a shame that at an increasingly early age, we are forcing children into adult notions of success and failure. We teach children to compete on looks, grades, leadership, athletics, and other weird notions we have about achievement. We teach children to be embarrassed about preferring NOVA over ESPN, any visible disabilities (no matter how slight), hair type, skin color, big feet, crooked teeth, and all sorts of ridiculous things. We don't look at children as 9 year olds. We look at them as half an adult. I cannot tell you how many ads picture toddlers as divas or sports stars. We have babies at computers acting as the spokesperson for Wall Street trading firms. We have kids competing to get into the "right" kindergarten. And the kids who go to their failing public school we assume will be failures at life. We, and by we I mean our society, pigeonhole kids based on their parents' income, where they grew up, and where they matriculated.

In a presumable meritocracy, we behave more like an aristocracy.

We no longer have individual achievement, but at every step we are judged against a standardized ideal. Our inability to meet certain standards labels us a geek, a freek, a stoner, or just some middle-of-the-road loser. In such an environment, envy is the overwhelming emotion of the masses. Followed closely by depression, anger, and aggression. Only a few can make it to the top. Are the rest of us failures?

I have been luckier than most. I convinced myself at a very early age that no one was better than me. Now some people have (incorrectly) labeled this narcissism. It is not. It is an inherent sense of equality. I have a well developed sense of social justice. Not as well developed as some lower on the social ladder than myself, but I think I did alright for figuring it out on my own. So if no one is better than me, I didn't have to be afraid of anyone. And I wasn't. I wasn't afraid of teacher, or my dad's executive friends, or someone who was interviewing me for a job. The part of this equation that was missing was this. I DID think I was better than some other people. And that misperception has taken me a long time to figure out, straighten out, and make a part of my world view.

I tell you this, to get at a simple point. When I looked seriously at what created a positive, happy working experience for me, it was this: I was happy in a position where I was treated with respect and I was unhappy where I was not. I was happy in a position (no matter what it was), where I felt I was good at what I did, where my contributions were meaningful, and I felt successful. I was happy when the days things went right outnumbered the days things went wrong. And the jobs that I didn't like...well, those were the kind where bosses tried to make me feel like I'd sinned when something didn't go well. We don't hit home runs everyday. But I don't believe that we deserve to be treated as though we are personally inadequate just because we didn't hit the ball out of the park every time up to the plate. I wanted a position where I felt competent, valued, and in control of how I felt on a daily basis. I was happiest in a job where a mistake was noted and we moved on. I was unhappiest in a job where a mistake was blown out of proportion and made me fear for my job. If a job made me feel like I was inadequate, it wouldn't be long before I was looking for another job. Notice, it didn't matter whether I really WAS inadequate, but simply that I FELT inadequate. I don't like feeling that way and I don't think anyone else does either.

I had a number of positive working experiences that, when a new supervisor came along, turned into a nightmare. And perhaps it is a bit silly on my part, but I believe that the things that make me happy are the things that make other people happy. I believe that it is very possible for a janitor, a cleaning lady, a dishwasher, a garbage man, and a cashier to love the work they do. I know a woman, a professional, who treats every single service employee she encounters with a presumed air of incompetence. She expects poor treatment and she usually finds it. She then makes a massive scene that embarrassed herself more than the person she was ripping a new one. If we treat the janitor, the cleaning lady, the dishwasher, the garbage man, and the cashier as equals and with respect, we contribute meaningfully to their happiness.

And this gets to the other great lesson in life I have learned, from my Grams no less:

It cost you nothing to make someone's day.

This is not just a call to be nicer to the people we encounter everyday. This is a call to invest in our social well being. If we can adjust our behavior even the slightest and improve our nation's citizens' satisfaction with their jobs, we improve our national lot. For that, I'm ready and willing. Life is too short to judge yourself by someone else's perverted standards. What's say we do our own thing and just be happy out there?

Television that Changed My Life

Someone challenged me to come up with my top ten all time favorite television shows. Impossible. Well, maybe not impossible, but given that I haven't watched television regularly for the past 8 years, it's difficult for me to do so in any meaningful way. I've probably missed a lot of great shows.

But for now, I'll just tell you about shows that I feel had a significant impact on my childhood. I was a tv junkie. Here goes.

The first one you already know about. The Flip Wilson Show. Flip Wilson was the funniest man I ever saw. He had great characters like Geraldine. Geraldine had a boyfriend, Killer, and no matter what she did, the devil made her do it. There was my absolute favorite character, Reverend Leroy of the Church of What's Happening Now. But the Flip Wilson show was a variety show and he had a large number of fantastic black artists. Don't underestimate it. It was an important part of integration in America. Flip was....Flip. He was black and never tried to be anything else. He was outrageous and out there. He was Laugh In, only better.









Speaking of which, number two is Rowan and Martin's Laugh In. Oh, I remember Goldie Hawn and Ruth Buzzie, and Jo Ann Worley and Arte Johnson, and...yes....the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate awarded every week by Dan Rowan and Dick Martin. But my favorite was always Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann. Who, as I recall, liked to sit on the bathtub drain as the water emptied because it felt good. Say goodnight, Dick. Goodnight, Dick.


Variety shows were pretty important in my life. Enter the Carol Burnett Show. It wasn't for years that I appreciated the ensemble that was the CBS. Harvey Korman, Tim Conway, and Vicki Lawrence (and later Lyle Waggoner). I always liked it when she took questions from the audience and the woman had the best Tarzan yell of anyone. No question about it. *ear tug*



Now when Colombo started, it was part of a weird group of dramas called the Mystery Movie that included McMillan and Wife, McCloud, and Hec Ramsey, Banacek, and some others. I didn't much care for McCloud, although it was popular, but I really liked the others. But, by far and away, Colombo was my favorite.





This list would not be complete without the king of the private dicks: Jim Rockford. The Rockford Files starred the perpetually broke Jim Rockford, who was handsome, cool, and aloof, but somehow my dad liked him. Besides, one episode had Issac Hayes on and he kept calling Jim "Rockfish". It had classic and likeable characters in the dad, Rocky, his former cell mate from San Quentin, Angel, and a parade of leggy brunettes and redheads that apparently were turned on by his messy single-wide or maybe it was that rockin' Pontiac Firebird. One of the all-time great theme songs.


Apparently, I was taken by shows about private eyes. Joe Mannix was one of my favorites. Of course, I thought he had a secret thing going with his secretary Peggy, but she seemed to always be above reproach. These guys were the coolest. They fostered in me a desire to become a detective. I actually think I would make a good detective. All except for that working with criminals part.




Ok, and now I'm going to show my hand. There was an important show (to me) called Daktari.

Set in east Africa, this was my first show about science. And megafauna. From here on out, I wanted to be a vet. Or a cop. Or maybe a vet-cop with a cross-eyed lion named Clarence.






From a very young age, I was addicted to late-night television. I used to watch Johnny Carson every night in the summer and after that a show with Tom Snyder. I think that show was called Tomorrow. But Johnny was a huge hero. I loved when he had on any of those old type Vegas types like Dean Martin or Joey Bishop or Buddy Hackett. But best, best, best of all were George Gobel, or Jonathan Winters or Bob Newhart.




Speaking of whom, my list would be incomplete without the Bob Newhart Show. Howard, Jerry, Marcia, Emily and Bob. This was the Seinfeld show before Seinfeld even began to think he was funny. I guess I'm a sucker for dry humor. Nothing much ever happened on the Newhart show. But his clients were entertaining and the show always pleased.


Finally, I'll end this list with a weird one.


Disney's Wonderful World of Color, aka Wonderful World of Disney. This had everything from cartoons to Disney Movies presented in series to nature shows that invariably followed some critter getting into the ranger's cabin and wreaking havoc. I loved this show. Disney was the Discovery Channel, The Cartoon Network, and Animal Planet of the pre-cable era. It had it all and Uncle Walt, too.



Well, thanks for taking this walk down memory lane with me. The 60s and early 70s were my childhood. Sometimes it's good to remember being a kid again. There is only one more show that I would include in this list, but it came later. That would be MASH. Maybe I'll do a television walkthrough of my adolesence and include that.

My Childhood Idol

This is for Liv. She had no idea who Flip Wilson was. I'll tell you who he was. He was my childhood idol and the Flip Wilson Show was my favorite one of my favorite shows. (I almost forgot about that period that I wanted to BE Carol Burnette.) Although my favorite character of Flip's was Reverend Leroy of the Church of What's Happening Now (can't seem to find any video of that), I certainly was fond of the sassy Geraldine. Enjoy.



Interesting thing about this clip, too. Boxing was a lot bigger when I was a kid. It probably had everything to do with Muhammad Ali's float-like-a-butterfly-sting-like-a-bee persona, but boxing dominated back then.

Flip died in 1998 of liver disease. What a loss. But what a funny, funny man. And for those that think television and success change people, keep in mind that Flip Wilson quit television so he could be a better parent to his 4 children.

Priceless.

I am a Feminist from Way Back

My earliest memories are of Monroeville, Pennsylvania. We moved to the Pittsburgh suburbs when I was a toddler. My father, recently graduated from college, had gotten a job at US Steel. For a brief moment, it looked as though I wouldn't be saddled with the accent of my parents. Alas, it didn't happen. We moved back. Nonetheless, the first enduring memory I have was of the fallout when my brothers lit a bit of wooded area behind our rented house on fire. I remember Halloween that year. I remember visiting my grandfather's horses at a local farm there. Fleeting memories. We lived in the rented house while our house was built in Irwin.

What does all this have to do with being a feminist, you ask?

I attended my first birthday party in Irwin. I was in kindergarten. My best friend was my next-door neighbor, Gina Stewart, who in reality, was a spoiled, insufferable little brat. We didn't hang that much. I did a lot of playing alone in our flat, unlandscaped back yard or swinging on the swing set. But Gina and I went to the party together with my "real" best friends, Randy and Roger Oates (the twins), but of course a girl wasn't allowed to have boy best friends back then. In any event, I have no idea who the party was for. I do recall what seemed like endless row upon row of tables with paper covers, each with a place setting and a child's name, and a party hat. I found my place and my hat. It was a nurses cap.

A nurse's cap.

*rumpled brow*

A nurse's cap?

But I didn't want to be a nurse. Nurses sucked. Slowly but surely, it began to sink in. I had gotten a nurse's cap because I was a girl. The boys had policeman caps and fireman caps and doctor caps. The girls had nurse caps and teacher caps that I think had rulers and such on them.

I was being indoctrinated into a sexist society in kindergarten.

What amazes me more is that I refused to wear the hat. I rejected the assumption. If they wouldn't give me a police hat or a fireman hat or a doctor hat, I wouldn't wear a hat at all. I remember some female adult, possibly the mother of the birthday child, encouraging me to wear the hat. I flatly refused and it was dropped.

I'm sure the last thing a mother hosting 30 children needs is an irate four-and-a-half year old feminist on her hands.

It was quite possibly my first instance of social disobedience.

PS: Whoa! I can't believe I found this. Here is exactly what I'm talking about. The kid holding the baby in this video is wearing the hat. It is also from the 60s.