11 December 2008

Tums: Not for those with an overactive gag reflex

I hate Tums. There, I said it.

I don't just dislike them. I loathe them. Tums to me are the equivalent of trying to get a toddler to take cough medicine.

I don't get heartburn often. But just like the hiccups, it seems that heartburn comes in a series of episodes back-to-back.

I've had heartburn for 3 days. I am sick of the pain in my chest. So sick, that today I actually tried to chew up some Tums and kick this episode in its ass.

100% of the problem with Tums is the flavor. The first two Tums I ate were orange. The second two were lime. Medicine should be neither orange or lime. It's just not right. And not just ordinary orange and lime, it's that tropical fruity crap. I swear, I thought I was going to gag and the stupid Tums still haven't kicked my heartburn.

Remember back in the day when they made minty Tums? Oh yeah, they called those Rolaids.

I gotta buy me some Rolaids.

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