Lessons I have learned the hard way

1. The best way to meet people to date is to have someone you know introduce you to someone they know. HOWEVER, this is only true if the person coordinating the introductions has a lick of good sense. If they are of the opposite sex and you wouldn't dream of dating them, they probably aren't the one you want hooking you up. If they are of the same sex, but their life is in disarray, they probably aren't a good candidate either. But presuming that you have one or two sane friends with stable lives and THOSE people think you need to meet their friend, well, give it a go. It's a stab in the dark, but you probably won't question your friend's sanity at the end of the evening.

2. The worst way to meet someone is online. Even if you aren't concerned about people posting photos wherein they are 50 lbs. thinner, with significantly fuller hair, or outright lying about marital status, age, and intent, it is still a bad way to meet people.

3. Once you reach the age of 35, dating is an irritating formality. You know in the first 30 minutes whether the relationship has a chance. You go on a date with an open mind, but by the time dinner is done, you have a fairly good idea whether the relationship is going anywhere. You can achieve this by noting every bad habit and little quirk and asking yourself a simple question: "Can I live with this long-term?"

4. If you are 35 and still single, wave goodbye to your tolerance for laughing an inane jokes, and overlooking poor table manners.

5. It is a vexing anomaly of biology that women desire men their own age while men desire younger women.