10 September 2008

Guest Poster: Liv on Arachnophobia

Thought you guys might enjoy Liv's response to my virtual spider as I did:
Liv said...

Rules of engagement for those who fear spiders:
1) If they're on your person, kill them.
2) If they're on the person of your friend, kill them. If the person of your friend also perishes in the act, it won't have been in vain.
3) If they're in your clothing, bedding, shoes, or any other thing that may touch your person, kill them and burn the clothing, bedding or shoes. Remove said clothing, bedding or shoes from your person first.
4) If they're furry jumping spiders and they're not on your person, be amazed at how adorable they are. Justify this illogical thought process by thinking that its probably a mistake in the phylogeny--spiders must not be a monophyletic group because jumping spiders can't be that cute and be spiders. Keep a safe enough distance from said jumping spider so that he can't jump on you. Such action erases all genetic credibility. You must kill them.
4) If they are featured on the television screen, turn off the television, make plans to burn it the next day, go make yourself a White Russian, and find a good book to read--you won't be sleeping that night.
4) If they're on your computer screen and eating flies and chasing your mouse, shudder at the horror of eight legs moving in that fashion, and thank Liz for such a nice way to look at spiders.
Excuse me, I need to go make myself a White Russian now.

Funny as hell, Liv. Thanks.

And since I have to contribute in some small way to this post, here is a recipe for a White Russian.

Pour vodka and coffee liqueur over ice cubes in an old-fashioned glass. Fill with light cream and serve.

But see, I don't like White Russians, so to balance this out, I have to give you a recipe for a Dreamcicle.

4 oz. Amaretto
orange juice
half and half

Poor Amaretto and orange juice over ice in an old-fashioned glass. Add light cream and stir.

Much better.

1 comment:

  1. Ooooh. I've never had a dreamcicle! Must go buy Amaretto tonight...
    Thanks for the recipe!

    ps glad I could make you laugh with my thoughts on spiders.