23 November 2008

My Dream Bath

I may have told you about my shower. It's a corner shower. Looks something like this.
Except that I have carpet in the bathroom. I know. And I agree. What isn't pictured is the shower actually in use. Let me give you a run down of the corner shower experience. The shower head is so low, if you are taller than 5'6", you knock yourself in the head with it. When you attempt to wash your back, your elbow hits the door, which swings open and water goes all over the floor. Don't even think about bending over, because then your butt opens the door and your back acts as a springboard for water to jettison directly into the center of the room. Oh, and did I mention I have CARPET in my bathroom?I'd like to shake my fist at the brainiac that came up with that idea.

The thing that is so bad about this corner shower deal is that corner showers are designed for small bathrooms. Mine is NOT a small bathroom. It is nearly as big as my bedroom. Granted, my bedroom is small, but relatively speaking, that is a giant bathroom. I have a full sized clothes closet and a linen closet in there. I have a fairly large sink base cabinet, a good bit of unencumbered wall space, a toilet with plenty of elbow room and this measly corner shower. Let's just say, I'm not hurting for room. So why in all this space, I've got a stinking 36" corner shower is beyond me.

But it is not beyond my vision for the future. A few weeks ago, my dear friends at Lowe's sent me some coupons for a "project starter". In all, $35.00. I was in a hurry to spend them because I actually found someone, who, for reasons unknown to me, has both 1) a truck, and 2) a willingness to help me out with it. And when you find someone that gullible friendly, you have to jump on that puppy and ride because you never known when your fickle friends are going to toss them back into the pond and leave you all truckless and longing for the dream bath that got away.

So today, I hoodwinked D-pal D-ennis into doing a little home delivery from Lowe's. It's true. I laid out my treasure on his bed and made good use of his power train. Ok, enough with the double entendre. Daktari has begun another massive bathroom remodeling project without having first finished the current project. But we can no talk about that now. Because look! Avert your eyes from the pantry with no cabinet doors and feast your eyes on the vision that is:

Daktari's dream bath.

(I think at this point, pink My Little Ponies are supposed to gallop across a rainbow sky with red, blue and purple stars cascading from their pink silken manes.)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Isn't it lovely? 48" of elbow-stretching room. Shelves for all my girly stuff. Nice little Greek column details so that I can feel all Architectural Digest. Can't you just imagine me dancing around under the water cascading from my new shiny chrome shower head? The one that no longer knocks me in the head. Ok, scratch that image. I'm not kidding. Right now you little perv.

You're still thinking about it, aren't you?

God, you are just sick.

Anyway, anyone who wants to come help with the remodel project, can sign up now. There are plenty of wonderful learning opportunities available for the industrious graduate student seeking construction skills. There's plumbing, electrical, tile work, framing, drywall, and the very very very best part: demo! There's tearing down old shower stalls and icky shower doors and pulling up shower pans and ripping out carpet! Think of the glamour! Think of the broken fingernails! Get out your frustrations! And remember: it's low-cholesterol and heart healthy!

Trust me. Remodels can be fun. How much fun? This is my second remodel on this bathroom in only 5 years. And maybe as part of this remodel, I'll finally get the ceiling fan installed. In any event, I work on the premise that the more money you spend up front on a project, the more likely you are to finish it in a timely manner. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

And reallly. You have to stop thinking about me nekkid in the shower. It's not good for either of us.

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