22 November 2008

Sagittarius and the House of Rock

From those astrological wizards over at MSN. I've bolded everything that describes me accurately and left snarky comments in italics on everything else.

Sagittarius Fun Facts

Inquisitive and energetic, the Sagittarius is the traveler of the Zodiac (i.e., on the lam). Their philosophical, broad-minded approach to life motivates them to wander far and wide in the search for the meaning of life (Oh great! Now I'm that freaky hippy co-worker that talks about stuff no one understands but curiously always involves moving to Seattle. But none of it belies that I have no plan and drift from job to job).

, optimistic, and enthusiastic, it can be almost impossible to keep the Sagittarius down (i.e., better eat your Wheaties if you want to hang out). They love change (dimes, quarters, nickles, it doesn't matter). In fact, change is essential for this sign to feel their best (so don't get too comfortable because you aren't going to be around long enough to bring a toothbrush over).

Friends and Family

Whether it's stimulating conversation or a hike through the mountains (both are equally as exhausting with a Sagittarian), you can expect this sign to be surrounded by friends. Sagittarians are a ton of fun and downright wacky at times (which means, expect to bear the brunt of practical jokes and be ready to laugh at fart noises). They love to laugh and to get everyone around them going. Sagittarians make friends from around the globe (usually through internet dating sites, particularly folks from Ghana and Nigeria) , enjoying the various takes on life and culture (doesn't say much about other folks strange sexual habits). They're generous and are not ones to hold a grudge (easy come, easy go). Anyone who can sit a spell and talk about the deeper things in life will suit a Sagittarius just fine (And if they can't find one, they will pay a therapist to listen to their crap for HOURS. Save them the trouble, ask them for the money up front). They make friends easily and remain steadfast through the years. When it comes to family, the Sagittarius is dedicated and willing to do just about anything. Freedom and independence are extremely important for this outgoing sign. Providing these traits aren't infringed upon, all relationships go well.

Career and Money

Visualization is the keyword for the Sagittarius (Visualization?? Is this like the Power of Positive Thinking?). When this sign sees something as possible in their minds, they will go to great lengths to rally enough people to make it happen. Straightforward, they don't usually mince words (e.g., open mouth, insert foot) about what they want, and they seem to know exactly what needs to be said in a given situation. (Unfortunately, they will most often say something else.) They make excellent salespeople, and it's even better when this involves travel (so when customers want their money back, a Sagittarian is long gone). When the Sagittarius gets a sense of the big picture, they'll work night and day to reach a goal.

A variety of tasks and a dynamic atmosphere favor Sagittarians. Careers such as travel agent, photographer, explorer, artist, realtors, ambassador, and import/export trader all suit this free-spirited personality (Yes, I have always wanted to be an import/export trader).

Fun loving Sagittarians enjoy making - and spending - money. Considered the luckiest sign of the Zodiac, they don't worry too much about where the next buck is coming from (Wrong. Dead wrong. I've woken up in the night with sweats at the size of my student loans). Sagittarians are risk-takers and highly optimistic, trusting in the universe to provide what is needed. Money-management tasks will bore the Sagittarius to tears (a necessary evil), so getting a bookkeeper or accountant is the best plan in order to stay on top of what's coming and going.

Love and Sex

Sagittarians are playful and love to have fun with their lovers. Passionate, expressive, and willing to try just about anything, partners who are equally outgoing are best suited to the Sagittarius (and I do mean anything, big boy.... mrrrrrrreowwwrrr). There's a fine line between sex and love for this sign (Sex is fine. Love is fine. I'd have to agree here). Their love of change and variety can bring a lot of different faces to the bedroom. (Ok, just how many is a LOT?) But when it comes to love, that's an entirely different thing. Once taken (what the hell does THAT mean?), the Sagittarian is loyal, true-blue, and devoted. Mates for this sign need to be intellectual, sensitive, and expressive for the best results. As the key phrase for this sign is I understand, having a good sense of how their partner thinks is quite important. (Ok, but I *don't* understand that getting "taken" remark.)


Each sign has a part of the anatomy attached to it, making this the area of the body that is most sensitive to stimulation. The anatomical areas for Sagittarius are the hips, thighs, and upper legs. (chick-a-bow-wow)

Ruling Planet
The ruling planet for Sagittarius is Jupiter. Considered the luckiest of planets, it rules wealth, leisure time, big business, the higher mind, optimism, growth, morality, prosperity, indulgence, long-distance travel, aspirations, sports, and fondness for animals. (Have suitcase, will travel at the drop of a hat, and usually take the dogs.)

The color of choice for Sagittarius is rich purple. (Keep that in mind if you want to buy me a Cadillac. Can ya dig it?)

Sagittarius's star stone is the topaz. (Wrong. It's sapphires. Pink sapphires. Or turquoise. Preferrably in a sterling setting. Don't forget. My birthday's coming up. )

Lucky Numbers
Sagittarius' lucky numbers are 3, 5, and 8. (Umm, not even close.)

Sagittarians are most compatible with Leo and Aries. (Not if those Aries include my mother and sister.)

Opposite Sign
The opposite sign for Sagittarius is Gemini. (And I thought it was Yield.)

The Perfect Gift
The best gifts for a Sagittarius are pet-related items or something for the outdoors. (or better still....something for me)

Travel, being outdoors, freedom, philosophy (also world peace and Denzel Washington)

Details, being constrained, off-the-wall theories, clingy people (ex-husbands, mushrooms, most Indian food)

Natural sign of the Ninth House. This house focuses on religion, philosophy, super-conscious mind, long trips, laws, and in-laws. (It's actually the house of rock)

Famous Sagittarians
Steven Spielberg, Mark Twain, Tina Turner, Jimi Hendrix, Christina Applegate, and Daktari

Best Travel Destinations
South Africa, Australia, Spain, Portugal, Toronto, Naples (and just about anywhere in Utah)

Great sense of humor, idealistic, generous

Will say anything no matter how undiplomatic (yeah, there's that), promises more than can deliver (ok, and that), can be impatient to the point of rudeness (aka: doesn't tolerate stupid well)

Charismatic marks
Open and interested. Generally tall, strong legs (and pretty fantasitc calves). Clothes for comfort, not style (hey! That's hardly fair. I'm pretty damn stylish for a systematist-ecologist-botanist type who "sandwich beezleday"). Women act in a “tomboy” manner. (Geez, you play with green army men ONE FREAKIN TIME and you are branded for life.)

Best environment
Outside, on the move (alternatively, in bed)

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